Entrepreneurs often find themselves navigating a unique set of challenges. On the one hand, many start their entrepreneurial journeys because they see a need and believe they have a product or service that can make a difference. On the other hand, many also face self-doubt. Along the way they question whether they have the skill, experience, finances, or other resources to make the intended impact.
As an entrepreneur, I've personally struggled with this issue. Even as I have worked hard to develop products and programs to help students become more self-aware and understand their value, I’ve questioned whether I had the ability and resources to compete in an arena dominated by larger, more seasoned competitors. In response to my struggles as well as those of others, I’ve adapted my social emotional learning materials that I developed for youth to help adult entrepreneurs own their genius.
In a recent confidence-building workshop for women entrepreneurs, I posed a seemingly simple challenge: list five things you are good at in your business. Surprisingly, several participants struggled to identify their strengths. In fact, even with prompting, there were some who were unable (or unwilling) to articulate even one thing.
There could be many reasons that the women in that workshop had trouble articulating their business genius:
Whatever the reason, it’s problematic. As business owners, we must be able to confidently own our genius.
Customers and collaborators actively seek professionals who exude confidence in their abilities. A hesitant doctor, a seemingly indifferent business coach, or a realtor unsure of their strengths may find it challenging to attract and retain clients in a competitive market.
Owning your genius is not just about personal growth; it's a strategic move for business success. Clients are drawn to professionals who assertively claim their expertise, and it promotes an environment of trust. The more confidently you can communicate your strengths, the more likely you are to attract opportunities, clients, and collaborators.
Becoming more confident in our abilities as business owners requires intentional work. One strategy that helped me was to keep track of my business successes. At the beginning of each month, I take time to reflect on the previous month and compile a list of wins—both big and small. To hold myself accountable, I choose to publicly share some of my business wins. While celebrating successes might seem like a simple concept, the impact it has on mindset and self-perception is profound.
Before incorporating this practice, my focus was often fixated on failures and shortcomings. Shifting my mindset to intentionally keep a record of my wins revealed a clearer understanding of my impact and capabilities. I started to see myself not just as a business owner but as a skilled and successful entrepreneur. This newfound perspective has helped me adopt a much more positive attitude about my business, my abilities, and my impact.
Owning your power as an entrepreneur is not just an internal battle; it's a strategic move that reverberates throughout your business. By confidently acknowledging your strengths, you become a magnet for success, attracting opportunities and collaborators who recognize and appreciate your unique abilities.
As entrepreneurs, let's embrace intentional reflection, celebrate our wins, and project confidence in our genius. The journey to success begins with self-belief, and the more we own our power, the brighter our entrepreneurial future becomes.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
With my Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program, I seek to remind us that even as we enjoy supporting others, to also tend to our own needs and goals. Each month it includes a Note to Self card which is a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy.
I created a special "mini set" of cards just for members of the Ambition to Success coaching program. The Note to Self in this mini set focuses on owning your entrepreneurial genius. This blog expands on that concept.
Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2024. All rights reserved.
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In life, we often talk about luck as if it's something beyond our control, a mysterious force that either favors us or creates problems for us. But what if luck isn't just about chance? What if it's something we can actively shape and influence?
I believe that luck isn't a random thing. It's the product of our actions intersecting with opportunities. It's about being prepared to seize those opportunities when they arise. This shift in perspective can have profound implications for how we approach life's challenges and opportunities.
Persistence, I've learned, is the linchpin when it comes to creating our own luck. It's about pushing forward, even when the road ahead seems daunting. I call it "taking brave action." Every setback, every stumble, is merely another step on the journey toward success. By being persistent, we bolster our chances of eventually reaching our goals.
The Power of Resilience. Persistence isn't solely about dogged determination; it's about resilience—the ability to bounce back when faced with adversity. It's about viewing setbacks not as roadblocks, but as opportunities for growth and learning.
Embracing Setbacks as Stepping Stones. When we embrace challenges with resilience, we transform them into stepping stones that lead to our desired destination. Every setback, every roadblock, presents an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Instead of viewing setbacks through a lens of defeat, we can choose to see them as valuable lessons that contribute to our personal and professional development. By embracing setbacks with an open mind and a willingness to learn, we transform their negative power into positive, transformative power.
Luck often favors the prepared, but it also smiles upon those who remain open to new opportunities. By cultivating an open mind and a flexible attitude, we increase our chances of stumbling upon those serendipitous moments. This means stepping out of our comfort zones, embracing uncertainty, and seizing the opportunities that come our way.
Actively Working to Cultivate Luck. Creating our own luck isn't a passive endeavor; it requires active participation and diligent effort. This means honing our skills, expanding our networks, and seeking out new experiences. Every connection forged and every skill acquired enhances our ability to shape our own destiny.
Seizing the Moment. Opportunities abound, waiting to be seized by those who are vigilant and proactive. When an opportunity presents itself, it's essential to seize it with both hands, knowing that our hard work and determination have prepared us for this moment. By staying alert and ready to pounce, we position ourselves for success.
My Journey. Last year, my chosen word was "opportunity." I made this decision after reflecting on missed opportunities the previous year. In 2023, I committed to being more attentive to opportunities and seizing them proactively. Rather than waiting, I resolved to create my own opportunities.
With this mindset shift, I encountered new collaborations, business ventures, and friendships. It wasn't luck; it was the result of hard work, planning, goal-setting, and intentional action.
Belief in oneself is critical when it comes to creating your own luck. If you don't believe you can succeed, you're unlikely to even try. That's why maintaining a positive mindset is so important. Remind yourself that you have the power to shape your own destiny and refuse to be held back by self-doubt or negativity.
Overcoming Obstacles. Sure, there will be obstacles along the way. There will be moments of doubt and frustration. But refuse to let them define you. You are the architect of your own luck, and you refuse to let anything stand in your way. Keep pushing forward, staying open to new opportunities, and believing in yourself.
Creating your own luck is within your grasp. By staying persistent, open to new possibilities, and believing in yourself, you can increase your chances of success in all areas of life. So, keep pushing forward, stay vigilant for opportunities, and remember that with hard work and determination, anything is possible.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
With my Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program, I seek to remind us that even as we enjoy supporting others, to also tend to our own needs and goals. Each month it includes a Note to Self card which is a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy. This blog expands on the Note to Self card about creating your own luck. Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2024. All rights reserved.
]]>In life, friends add color, warmth, and depth to our journey. Friends share our joys, lend a shoulder during challenging times, and support our endeavors. As we appreciate the invaluable friendships we've cultivated, it's essential to turn our attention inward and extend that same kindness and support to ourselves. Let's embark on a journey of self-friendship, resolving to be our own best friend.
As you reflect on the beautiful friendships you've been fortunate to have, extend the same love and care to the person who will be with you throughout your entire journey—YOU! Becoming your own best friend is a radical commitment to self-love, self-acceptance, and self-growth. Embrace this resolution with an open heart, and watch as the friendship with yourself becomes one of the most rewarding and enduring relationships in your life.
Share in the comments below one small, actionable step you're taking to be your own best friend.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
With my Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program, I seek to remind us that even as we enjoy supporting others, to also tend to our own needs and goals. Each month it includes a Note to Self card which is a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy. This blog expands on the Note to Self card about becoming your own best friend. Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2024. All rights reserved.
]]>As we embark on a journey into the new year, it's customary to set goals that propel us toward growth, happiness, and success. While aspirations like career achievements, family, and health targets often top the list, one thing tends to get overlooked—making yourself a priority. In the pursuit of your ambitions, consider integrating self-prioritization into your goal-setting strategy. Here are 8 goals to prioritize:
Incorporating goals centered on prioritizing oneself into your new year's resolutions will not only enhance your overall well-being but also empower you to tackle other objectives with newfound strength and clarity. Remember, making yourself a priority is not a selfish act but a necessary one to ensure you're operating at your best for both yourself and those around you.
For parents and caregivers, prioritizing yourself sets an inspiring example for your students. Your commitment to self-growth and well-being encourages those around you, particularly students, to do the same and fosters a culture of self-care.
By incorporating goals centered on prioritizing oneself you lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and successful journey. Remember, making yourself a priority is not a one-time resolution but a lifelong commitment to your well-being and personal growth. Cheers to a year of self-discovery, resilience, and transformative empowerment!
Share in the comments goals centered on prioritizing oneself that you plan to focus on in the new year.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
In launching my Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program, I seek to remind us that even as we enjoy supporting others, to also tend to our own needs and goals. Each month it includes a Note to Self card which is a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy. This blog expands on the Note to Self card about making yourself a priority in the new year. Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2023. All rights reserved.
]]>The last several weeks of the year mean different things to each of us. For many people, it's a season of pure joy. We look forward to spending time with family and friends and doing all of the fun holiday activities. I have always loved the season and the way my family celebrates it. I view it as a beautiful season of peace, joy, and love. But I know that not everyone feels that way.
For many, it is a difficult time. Some struggle with financial difficulties, loneliness, and loss. Even though the overall feeling for me is one of joy, since my father died in 1997- a few days before the new year, the season has felt different for me. It changed even more when my mother died in 2022. There is a longing. I long for the time when all of us celebrated together.
Others face stress and exhaustion related to trying to ensure that their kids and other family and friends have all that they need as well as all that they want. Many face difficult family dynamics. Still others face discomfort due to being surrounded by people celebrating the season in ways that differ from their tradition, culture, or religious beliefs. Because of any of these things, many find this time of year anything but peaceful.
While there may not be a universal way for approaching this season, just like any other time of the year experiencing a sense of peace is an ideal that most would welcome. Here are 8 strategies for cultivating a season of personal peace.
If you find yourself struggling during this time of year, take brave action and consciously embrace these practices. As a result, you may find yourself on the road that can lead to turning the year-end into a season of balance and personal peace. Remember, it's not about doing everything but about doing what matters most to you and finding equilibrium between giving and self-care.
This year I am choosing to focus more on #4- Continue Self-Care Rituals and #6- Do for Others, but Also Do for You.
Share in the comments strategies that have helped you find personal peace in the last several weeks of the year.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
In launching my Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program, I seek to remind us that even as we enjoy supporting others, to also tend to our own needs and goals. Each month it includes a Note to Self card which is a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy. This blog expands on the Note to Self card about personal peace. Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2023. All rights reserved.
]]>Did you know that Stacey M Design started off as a greeting card business?
Yes! I designed greeting cards. I have always been drawn to greeting cards for a very simple reason: they make people smile. Greeting cards are more than just paper; they are a tangible connection, a way to offer support, and a medium to celebrate life's beautiful moments.
Even as I shifted the focus of my business to supporting the social emotional well-being of students through my guided journals, workshops, and school programs, I’ve maintained a line of greeting cards. My cards echo the empowering messages found in the guided journals and SEL programs.
Lately, I’ve become increasingly aware that the same individuals—moms, caregivers, educators, and community members—dedicated to supporting the social and emotional well-being of youth, are equally passionate about promoting the well-being of the adults in their lives. It’s also evident that they recognize the importance of paying closer attention to their own needs, a practice often overlooked.
Enter Sunshine and Self-Care™ —a program with a dual purpose. It's designed to resonate with those who seek to uplift the adults around them while subtly nudging them to prioritize self-care. It's not just a subscription; it's a journey towards spreading joy and warmth, one card at a time.
Just like a warm smile and a friendly hello, a thoughtful greeting card can add a bit of sunshine to someone’s day. But don’t forget about you. Be thoughtful to yourself as well.
My new greeting card monthly subscription program, Sunshine and Self-Care™, is here! Starting in December, around the 10th of each month, I will send you 5 newly released greeting cards:
Plus, 1 card just for you—the Self-Care Note to Self card.
Sunshine and Self-Care™ is a bit of sunshine to share, and for you, some self-care!
Like many of you, I strongly believe in spreading joy and offering support to others. My approach to social emotional learning involves encouraging students to lean on their supporters and to support others. Adults should do the same!
There are many ways. Sending greeting cards is an easy and proven way to let someone know that you've been thinking about them and support them. A subscription to Sunshine and Self-Care™ makes it even easier.
The foundation of my approach to social emotional learning is self-love. As adults, we want our students to grow in self-love, but we don't always focus on self-love for ourselves. Sunshine and Self-Care™ includes a reminder of ways that we can practice self-care, self-love, and self-advocacy. The added benefit will be that we will model self-love for the youth in our lives and the youth in the community.
Sunshine and Self-Care™ aims to bring a touch of warmth to your life and the lives of others. By subscribing to this monthly greeting card experience, you'll not only have a new tool to help you support others and spread joy, you're also embracing a commitment to self-love and care. Let these cards be a reminder that, in the midst of supporting others, it's equally vital to support yourself.
Subscribe today and embark on a journey of spreading sunshine and self-care—one card at a time.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
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I’ve heard this over and over and over: “You are responsible for your own feelings. No one can make you feel any particular way.”
Many people say this. Many therapists say this. Many life coaches say this. My opinion, perhaps unpopular, is that I don’t believe it is completely true that “no one can make you feel any particular way.”
We don't live in an ideal reality. Whether it should be this way or not, what other people say or do impacts how one feels.
For example, the very presence of my son or my husband results in me feeling joy— usually. LOL! I do not make a conscious effort to feel that joy. I just do. There are other people whose very presence results in me experiencing negative feelings.
What is true is that you are responsible for your own feelings. Even though someone's presence may lead you to feel bad, they are not responsible for how you feel. You are.
That's the power that each of us has. We must assert it.
When it comes to people who have a negative impact on you, there are strategies that can help minimize your negative emotions. They help you take power away from the person and by doing so, you assert your own power.
1. Forgiveness. Forgiveness can restore inner peace and tranquility. By forgiving, you can find a sense of closure and can move forward without the emotional turmoil that resentment and anger can cause. This newfound peace empowers you to spend less time holding onto negative emotions and more time engaging in healthy interactions.
2. Focus on self. There are people whose very presence may result in our feeling “some kind of way.” There is not always the option to leave. Even if there was, GENERALLY, that’s not the option I would choose. Instead of focusing energy and time on the person and allowing them to impact your geography, focus on you and your purpose on being in that place in that moment. Owning your power lies in choosing to not give up an opportunity because of the presence of another person.
3. Find your calm. Through self-regulation strategies such as breath work, positive self-talk, and pausing, you can mentally reset and move past the negative response into a more positive emotional space. This can empower you to focus on something other than the negativity associated with that person.
4. Challenge and reframe. Replace the negative thoughts that you have about the person or their actions with something positive. For example, a friend who had a bad experience with a leader, for a while was triggered by this person. Recently, she reframed the experience and now views that person as teaching her valuable lessons about leadership.
5. Lean on your team. I define one’s team as anyone who supports them and acts as their cheerleaders. They may be family, friends, co-workers, coaches, or anyone else who provides support. By being beside you, these individuals help you refocus on yourself and your goals. Thy can help you find your calm. They can also help you challenge and reframe your negative perspective.
Here's another example. My husband clowns a lot. He can be very funny. That's one of the reasons I love him. However, sometimes his teasing and joking upset Isaiah. I used to encourage Harold not to joke so much with Isaiah. Now I encourage Isaiah to figure out how to not allow Harold’s joking negatively impact him. I encourage him to stop allowing Harold to have that power.
Whether you agree with my unpopular opinion, becoming more self-aware and working on strategies to help you feel empowered when the presence of another person leads to discomfort will lead to personal growth.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
I love teaching students to believe in themselves and own their power. To learn about my books and programs, contact me!
©Stacey Montgomery, 2023. All rights reserved.
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A couple of weeks ago when Isaiah and I were hanging out at the cafe at Barnes and Noble, he picked up a copy of Unfu*k Yourself.
I was shocked. No, not because of the title. LOL! I was shocked because he made the choice without my encouragement or knowledge to select a book about self-empowerment. He started to read it as we sat in the cafe. After about 15-20 minutes he said to me, “this book is about what you talk about.”
He ended up buying the book (with his own money) and finished reading it.
Ever since I wrote my first guided journal and developed my social emotional learning workshops and curricula, I have consistently shared messages of encouragement and empowerment with Isaiah and worked hard to live my mission.
My goal for Isaiah and for other kids who use my resources is for them to get in the habit of self-reflecting such that they will arrive at the truth of how awesome they are.
It makes my mom heart happy when I see Isaiah getting it. I’ve shared how he much he has grown in his belief in self. He is regularly setting goals, taking brave action, and advocating for himself.
It makes my mom heart super happy to see him take the initiative to learn more about it and do mindset work on is own.
I know how frustrating it can be when our students are unhappy because they don’t believe in themselves.
I’ve been there.
Through my journey, my work with my son, and my work with hundreds of youth in schools, scouts, and youth groups, I’ve learned that things can improve with the proper resources and consistent messages.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
I love teaching students to believe in themselves and own their power. To learn about my books and programs, contact me!
©Stacey Montgomery, 2023. All rights reserved.
Perfectionism in students can be a double-edged sword. While it often leads to high achievement and attention to detail, it can also cause stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure. As parents, we can guide perfectionist students towards a balanced approach to life and learning.
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by setting extremely high standards and striving for flawlessness. While it can be a positive trait in moderation, it becomes problematic when it causes distress and interferes with a student's well-being or ability to function effectively.
Perfectionist students tend to:
Here are five strategies to support perfectionist students.
1. Encourage a Growth Mindset
One of the most effective ways to help your perfectionist child is to nurture a growth mindset. Psychologist Carol Dweck coined this term, referring to the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Students with a growth mindset are more likely to view challenges as opportunities for learning and growth rather than as tests of their innate abilities.
Encourage a growth mindset by:
Research has shown that students who embrace a growth mindset tend to be more adaptable, less anxious, and better equipped to handle setbacks.
2. Teach Coping Skills
Perfectionist students often struggle with intense emotions, especially when they perceive that they've fallen short of their high standards. Teaching them coping skills can help them manage these emotions effectively. Some useful strategies include:
By providing your student with these tools, you equip them to handle the emotional ups and downs that often accompany perfectionism.
3. Foster a Safe Environment
It's essential for perfectionist students to feel safe and supported at home. Create an environment where they know they can make mistakes without fear of harsh judgment or criticism. Here's how:
When students feel safe and loved unconditionally, they are more likely to develop a healthier relationship with perfectionism.
4. Set Realistic Expectations
Help your perfectionist student set more realistic expectations for themselves. Encourage them to break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This approach not only reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed but also allows them to celebrate small victories along the way.
Additionally, help your student recognize that perfection is an unattainable goal. Remind them that it's okay to make mistakes and that nobody is flawless. Share stories of successful individuals who faced failures but persevered, reinforcing the idea that setbacks are part of the journey to success.
5. Be a Positive Role Model
Students often learn by example, and as parents, we can be the most significant role models in a student’s life. We have the opportunity to demonstrate a healthy approach to achievement, mistakes, and self-acceptance through our own actions and attitudes.
Conclusion
Perfectionism in students can be a complex trait, with both positive and negative aspects. While it often drives achievement, it can also lead to anxiety and distress. As parents, we play a vital role in helping our perfectionist students find balance and develop a healthier relationship with high standards.
Encourage a growth mindset, teach coping skills, foster a safe and supportive environment, set realistic expectations, and be a positive role model. By implementing these strategies, you can empower your student to embrace their imperfections, learn from their mistakes, and grow into resilient, confident individuals who thrive in the face of challenges.
Also, keep in mind that if your student shows signs of anxiety or depression, consider seeking professional help. Remember that your love and guidance are instrumental in helping your student navigate the complexities of perfectionism.
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
Confidence plays a huge role in a student's future well-being and success now and as they mature into adulthood. When kids believe in themselves, they are better equipped to handle social pressure, negativity, academic challenges, responsibilities, and frustrations.
I offer guided journals, workshops, and curricula that are designed to boost kids' belief-in-self and confidence. But, do you know what's equally important? The support and involvement of parents, grandparents, and caregivers.
Here are 12 research-backed strategies you can use at home to help your students develop and sustain their confidence. These simple steps can make a big difference in their lives.
1. Show Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is the cornerstone of healthy self-esteem. Let your student know that you love them, no matter what. Express your affection through words and actions regularly. When students feel loved and accepted, they are more likely to develop a positive self-image. For example, make it a habit to tell your student that you love them no matter what, and offer specific praise, such as "I love you for the kind heart you have" or "I'm proud of how hard you're working in school."
2. Encourage Independence
Give your students opportunities to make age-appropriate choices, decisions, and tasks. This promotes independence and a sense of competence. Whether it's selecting their clothes or deciding on a weekend activity, allowing them to take control boosts their self-esteem.
3. Celebrate Achievements, Big and Small
Whether it's acing a test or just finishing a puzzle, celebrate their accomplishments. It's like giving them a standing ovation. Show them that their efforts matter, no matter how small. And hey, maybe surprise them with their favorite dinner as a victory feast!
4. Teach Self-Compassion
Help your student understand that making mistakes is a natural part of life. Encourage self-compassion by teaching them to treat themselves with kindness and understanding when they falter. This will help them bounce back from slip-ups with even more strength. When your student makes a mistake or faces a challenge, talk openly about your own past mistakes and what you learned from them. Encourage them to treat themselves with kindness in similar situations.
5. Be a Role Model
Kids learn by example. If here is an inconsistency between your actions and words, kids are more likely to do what your do, than do what you say. Show them how to respect themselves, have compassion, and be confident. When they see you valuing yourself, they'll follow suit and learn to value themselves too. For example, demonstrate self-respect by setting aside time for self-care activities, like exercise or reading, and explain to your student why these activities are important for your well-being.
6. Celebrate Effort
Recognize and celebrate the effort your student puts into their endeavors. Whether they succeed or encounter obstacles, acknowledging their hard work and determination instills a strong sense of accomplishment. For example, when your student faces a tough task or challenging homework, praise their hard work and dedication. Say something like, "I can see how much effort you're putting into this, and that's what really matters." This celebration of effort reinforces their belief in their abilities and fosters confidence in their capabilities.
7. Help Them Overcome Fear of Failure
Failure is a part of life. It is unavoidable. Encourage your student to face their fears and take courageous steps outside of their comfort zone—always keeping safety in mind. Growth happens and individual success happens outside of one’s comfort zone. It’s OK to be afraid. It’s important to take brave actions and act despite being afraid. Share your own experiences of setbacks and how you learned from them. This illustrates that mistakes are valuable lessons, not roadblocks.
8. Encourage Them to Try New Things
New experiences are like adventures waiting to happen! Encourage your student to explore uncharted territory. Whether it's a new hobby, a different club, or trying out for a team, embracing the unknown builds adaptability and confidence. Suggest trying something new together!
9. Encourage Them to Volunteer
Empower your student to make a positive impact in their community. Volunteering offers a unique opportunity to cultivate compassion and achieve meaningful goals. By participating in volunteer activities, they can find a sense of purpose and accomplishment, contributing to their growing confidence. Involve your student in selecting a local charity or cause they're passionate about, and volunteer together as a family. Discuss the positive impact of their actions.
10. Embrace Imperfection
Teach your student that perfection is not the goal. Embracing imperfections and mistakes as part of the learning process can be liberating. Encourage them to accept themselves, flaws and all, and let them know that it's entirely normal to make errors. When your student makes a mistake, remind them that it's normal and that everyone, including you, makes errors. Share a personal story of when you made a mistake and what you learned from it. This acceptance fosters a healthy self-image and bolsters their self-esteem.
In nurturing your student's self-esteem and confidence, remember that the journey is a collaborative effort. By applying these ten strategies, you can create an environment where they not only feel loved but also equipped to embrace challenges, value themselves, and grow into resilient, confident individuals. Here's to their bright future!
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Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design, Inc.
As parents and caregivers, we all know how crucial it is to provide our students with support and encouragement. A simple note can go a long way in boosting their confidence, brightening their day, and reminding the as to why they should believe in themselves.
Here are 27 creative and playful ideas for places to leave Notes to My Kid Encouragement Cards (NTMK) to surprise your student.
Incorporating these playful ideas into your routine can make a world of difference in your student's day. The surprise element adds a touch of excitement, reminding them that you're always cheering them on.
Notes to My Kid is a set of cards with empowering messages to share with your kid. The set includes 27 different messages, plus 3 blank cards for you to write your own special note to your kid.
Can you think of other ideas about where to leave them? Share in the comments.
Photo credit: Megan Holly Artist
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When my son was in school, during IEP meetings and during parent/teacher meetings, we were constantly told: "Isaiah needs to advocate for himself."
His teachers explained that Isaiah never asked for help when he needed it. However, Isaiah's teachers made it seem as if getting Isaiah to ask for help when he needed it was the same as asking him to hang up his jacket. Simply telling him to speak up did not work.
Surprise, surprise.
Over time I came to realize that the main reason that Isaiah did not advocate for himself was because of the way he viewed himself. He had low self-esteem. When it came to asking for help, being assertive, setting goals, and advocating for himself in other ways, Isaiah
No matter how much I encouraged Isaiah to speak up and let teachers know when he needed help, it did not matter. He did not have the mindset that would have led him to advocate for himself.
Once I understood this, I went to work helping Isaiah work on loving himself and understanding his value.
It's been a journey.
He is now at a place where he has greater self-awareness and a much better understanding of his value. As a result, he started to advocate for himself.
Whether you are a mom, a teacher, a counselor, or a youth group leader, if you are looking for resources to help your students understand their value, let's chat about my workshops. I also give afterschool workshops.
To chat, send an email to service@staceymdesign.com or give me a call at 630-803-1126.
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Did you know that for each of my guided journals I interview a remarkable student? I want to celebrate their efforts and use their stories to inspire other students.
In my most recent guided journal, How's Your Summer Gonna Rock? from the Rockin' the Summer Set, I had the pleasure of interviewing Gabby, a remarkable 11-year-old competitive swimmer. Her journey is truly awe-inspiring, demonstrating the power of self-belief, hard work, and strategic planning.
Gabby's Remarkable Journey
Gabby set a summer goal of earning a spot in a specific competition. During her interview, Gabby described the steps she took to pursue her goal. Gabby's journey wasn't without challenges. Like any other athlete, she faced moments of doubt and setbacks. However, Gabby's unwavering belief in herself and her love of swimming propelled her forward.
While interviewing Gabby, I also learned that she had a strategic approach to achieving success. She understood the significance of setting goals and creating a roadmap to reach them.
Gabby's story serves as an inspiration to students everywhere, demonstrating the importance of self-belief, hard work, and planning.
Empowering Your Student
The Rockin' the Summer Set, featuring Gabby's interview, provides a fantastic opportunity to engage your student in meaningful introspection. Through the journal's prompts and activities, they can explore their passions, set goals, and develop strategies to overcome obstacles.
To get a copy of the Rockin' the Summer Set and explore Gabby's story further, visit my website. Let's inspire and motivate our students to achieve their dreams!
Stacey Montgomery
Mom, Author, and Founder of Stacey M Design, Inc.
@2023. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
For many students, the least difficult part of the goal-achieving process is setting goals. Most students can make a list of things that they want to achieve. With a little help, many elementary age students and older can set goals that would fit the SMART criteria—specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely.
Each of Isaiah’s goals is SMART. Still, that’s not enough. It’s not enough for the goal to be objectively attainable.
]]>A few weeks ago as Harold, Isaiah, and I sat around the dinner table, we each shared our big goals for 2023. Isaiah’s big goals involved saving a lot of money, improving his GPA, and building his business. He discussed these topics passionately.
When he finished talking, I stared at him, but said nothing. I said nothing because I knew he expected me to give him words of encouragement as I always do.
Finally he said, “Don’t you have anything to say? Do you think I can do it?”
I absolutely believe that Isaiah can achieve each of his goals. I have seen him in action. He has what it takes.
But it’s not enough for me to believe in him.
I responded, “Isaiah, the important question is, ‘do you believe you can?’”
His response was an unconvincing, “yes.”
For many students, the least difficult part of the goal-achieving process is setting goals. Most students can make a list of things that they want to achieve. With a little help, many elementary age students and older can set goals that would fit the SMART criteria—specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely.
Each of Isaiah’s goals is SMART. Still, that’s not enough. It’s not enough for the goal to be objectively attainable. To achieve a goal, the student must take brave action. If Isaiah doesn’t believe that he’s capable of reaching his goals, it’s not likely that he will be motivated to take the steps to reach those goals. Why would he take the time to do something that he thinks is impossible?
During the next part of my conversation with Isaiah I challenged him, reminding him of the importance of what he thinks about himself and his abilities.
Isaiah did not need me to say those things to him. He knew my opinion. Isaiah needed to arrive at the conclusion on his own that he is amazing and that he has the ability to achieve each of his goals. Isaiah will grow in confidence because he believes in himself and not because his mom believes him. Yes, the impact of a parent’s support and belief in their child should not be underestimated. However, the impact of a child’s belief in their self is incomparable .
When it comes to achieving goals, one of the most important factors that determines whether or not your student will reach their goal is whether they believe they can. To help Isaiah have a mindset shift, I challenged him with the following three questions:
These questions required Isaiah to self-reflect. They required him to think about how he used his abilities and resources to do something that was difficult. In answering these questions he reminded himself that he has what it takes to do hard things.
This is the initial inquiry. There may still be “buts” and “what ifs”. The process of achieving the goal may still feel daunting. Your student made still feel scared. Your student may still be concerned about failing. However, as long as your student believes that they can, and is willing to take brave steps forward, they will be able to start on the journey toward achieving their goals.
What Are Your Big Dreams? is a resource that will help students ages 8-12 achieve their goals. It is a guided journal that includes writing prompts and other activities that help students understand their gifts and that they have what it takes to achieve their goals. It also provides space for students to set goals and develop strategies to reach them.
To help students with their goal achieving journey, a Family Guide is available. The Family Guide for What Are Your Big Dreams? is divided into 13 units that correspond with the activities in the guided journal. It helps parents, caregivers, and home educators work through What Are You Big Dreams? in a structured manner, highlighting the social emotional learning aspects of the goal-achieving process.
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Would you like to schedule an author visit or a workshop? Let's discuss.
Stacey Montgomery
Mom, Author, illustrator, and social emotional learning innovator
@2023. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
I am a licensed clinical professional counselor and registered art therapist who works with only adults. You might be wondering why I am writing about a journal that is designed to help children. Well, the adults that I work with were all once children who struggled to love themselves. They wondered if they were good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough, special enough, worthy enough, normal enough. As adults, they still wonder all of these things. They were not taught to embrace their power, their uniqueness, or their inner strength.
In therapy, I focus on changing core negative self beliefs that have been established early in childhood into positive self beliefs. Negative self beliefs or core beliefs come from within but they are reinforced by our environment, including our families, school, friends and even what we see on TV or what we read in books. These negative core beliefs are reinforced repetitively throughout our lives through various experiences, culture and relationships. These negative beliefs can become ingrained, making them seem impossible to change.
Negative core beliefs effect our choices and actions since they seem to be 'true'. They lead people into unhealthy relationships, poor decisions, unfulfilling jobs, and disappointing marriages. The main goal I have for ALL of my clients, is to help them see their unique qualities as strengths and their differences as gifts. Therapy requires extremely hard work since those core negative beliefs have been seen as 'truths' for way too long.
It is my belief that if we start encouraging kids to believe in themselves at a young age, that therapy wouldn't be as needed like it currently is in our society. Maybe I'll be out of a job but it would be worth it to see kids embracing their strengths, their weaknesses, their quirks, and their differences. These children would grow into strong, capable, confident adults that don't need to be reminded because they knew from an early age the gifts that they possess are amazing, no matter their size, their shape or their ability. When we can help these children start young and repeat this throughout their lives, especially in challenging stages of growth and change that are to come in grade school, the dreaded middle school years, and difficult high school years, we can help to grow stronger, positive, healthier balanced adults.
So that is why I recommend What's Your Super Power?-- to remind you that your children need to be encouraged to love themselves and it needs to start now! In fact, if you are reading this, perhaps you too can find power and healing within this journal. You are never too old to grow, learn, and become empowered. Stacey Montgomery's guided journal is highly recommended and much needed.
Laura Clay, LCPC, ATR
Founder of Forward Emotion, LLC, a therapy practice located in Lisle, Illinois, specializing in empowering people to love themselves.
]]>Summer break is upon us and kids are ready for summer adventures to begin. While parents are also excited about the end of the school year routine and are looking forward to more fun family time, they are also concerned about summer learning loss. To address this issue, many parents enroll their kids in summer academic programs or purchase materials to use at home to help ensure that their kids retain reading, writing, and math concepts learned over the school year.
But what about social emotional learning concepts?
The wonderful thing about social emotional learning is
]]>Summer break is upon us and kids are ready for summer adventures to begin. While parents are also excited about the end of the school year routine and are looking forward to more fun family time, they are also concerned about summer learning loss. To address this issue, many parents enroll their kids in summer academic programs or purchase materials to use at home to help ensure that their kids retain reading, writing, and math concepts learned over the school year.
But what about social emotional learning concepts?
The wonderful thing about social emotional learning is that there are opportunities to easily reinforce these skills throughout the summer as part of your family’s summer activities. Here are a few ideas.
Volunteering to strengthen social awareness
The benefits of volunteering are numerous, including supporting social emotional learning skills such as empathy, self-confidence, teamwork, and leadership. With more flexible schedules and generally more temperate weather, summer vacation provides new opportunities for kids to help others and at the same time help themselves. The summer also provides the opportunity to take on larger projects that extend over the course of the summer.
To find volunteer opportunities, check with local civic organizations such as Rotary International and Kiwanis International, and religious organizations. Local nonprofits such as animal shelters, nursing homes, libraries, and food pantries often offer volunteer opportunities for children.
Another option is for your child to come up with their own project. Kids are often genuinely concerned about issues impacting the world, their neighborhood, or issues that are important to their family and want to do their part to help.
My son Isaiah is concerned about the environment. At home he has taken ownership of making sure we properly recycle. He also has taken it upon himself to clean up litter around our neighborhood. When kids take leadership roles in service projects, they tend to be more engaged and realize even more social emotional learning gains.
Visiting museums to strengthen self-awareness and social awareness
During the summer visits to museums increase significantly as they are popular among tourists. They provide both fun and education for the entire family. But museums, particularly art, history, and cultural museums, can also provide unique opportunities to strengthen the social emotional learning skills of self-awareness and social awareness.
Museums provide natural opportunities for kids to learn, explore, and inquire in an inviting, unintimidating atmosphere. The exhibits have stories behind them. Museums also provide opportunities for children to learn information about other cultures and help them appreciate different perspectives.
When viewing the exhibits and reading or listening to the narratives, children will have emotional responses. When you ask your child probing questions, you can help them identify their feelings and explore the reasons behind those emotions. The conversations that you have with your children can result in an increase in empathy and an increase in their respect of differences, leading to growth in social awareness.
How do you feel when you look at a painting? At a sculpture? These are great topics to discuss with your children when you visit an art museum together. Art can bring a range of emotions such as happiness, sadness, laughter, and confusion. Helping children explore their reactions to what they see and identify their emotions helps support self-awareness.
In addition, visiting art museums can help children understand and better recognize the feelings of others. There are always stories behind works of art. Learning those stories can help kids understand the impact of culture on art.
Socializing with friends to strengthen relationship skills
Children experience growth in relationship skills through socializing with peers. During the last 15 months, social interaction among peers has been limited as remote learning was the norm and families often limited peer contact to a small circle of close family friends. While there may be some limitations on social contact this summer, it will still allow for more opportunity for kids to spend time with a wider group of peers in a non-academic setting.
Consider incorporating social interaction with another SEL activity to make the experience even more fun and more valuable. For example, take a group of your child’s friends on a summer outing to a museum. Or, encourage your child and their friends to organize a service project or participate in a volunteering activity together.
Spending time in each other’s homes, participating in activities together such as volunteering, camp, sports, and going to amusement parks will allow them to cultivate strong relationship skills as they listen, communicate, cooperate, and resolve conflicts with one another.
Volunteering, going to museums, and socializing with friends are just 3 examples of opportunities to incorporate SEL throughout the summer. Look for additional opportunities to help your kids flex their social emotional learning muscles to strengthen their self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, self-management, and responsible decision-making skills. Once you start looking for them you will see them all over!
Stacey Montgomery
Creator, Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program
@2021. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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The last Sunday in April is National Pet Parents Day and the perfect time to write about the connection between pet ownership and emotional wellness.
]]>6 Ways that Pet Ownership Supports the Social Emotional Development of Kids
The last Sunday in April is National Pet Parents Day and the perfect time to write about the connection between pet ownership and emotional wellness.
I love animals. When I was a kid, we always had pets-- dogs, chickens, turtles, fish, and gerbils. I had a rabbit named Sam for 10 years, and my son had a couple of guinea pigs, Max and Buster, for 8 years. These pets were a source of joy for our entire family.
When I was a kid I wanted pets because they were cute and I thought they would be fun. While I was correct, I now know that a pet can also have a positive impact on a child’s emotional wellness and can be a rewarding, confidence-building experience.
Whether the pet is a guinea pig, bird, dog, or cat, they are a lot of responsibility. However, pet ownership can support the social emotional health of kids and also bring joy to the entire family.
Stacey Montgomery
Creator, Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program
@2021. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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If there is one sentiment shared by teachers and administrators all over the world, it is that there is never enough funding for all the programs that you want to provide for the children you educate. It is a decades old problem, and it seems that budgets are decreasing at a time when children need more help than ever.
When I first met the principal of Scott Elementary School, he described his concern for students who felt like the “other” instead of included in the school community. He shared his concerns about conflicts between students that involved biased language, and interactions between students that were prejudiced, offensive, and hurtful.
As part of their efforts to create a more positive and nurturing environment for all students, Scott Elementary School piloted my Why is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program with their 4th grade class. Their goal was to develop a community in which their diverse student body all felt included, recognized, and supported.
At the end of the program, the principal shared, "Why is Different Awesome? is an excellent complement to our existing SEL curriculum. It not only supports individual self-reflection but it influences the way students see, understand, and value others. It also creates space for age appropriate conversations that are quite relevant and timely on issues of diversity and inclusion."
We are in a time when diversity and inclusion is top of mind in schools and businesses across the world. Additionally, not only have racial issues and inclusivity been at the forefront of our minds, but many kids throughout the country have spent the last year attending school at home, no longer accustomed to interacting with children outside of their immediate families or with people who look, sound, and act differently than they do. I know that many parents and educators are concerned about how students will manage after an unprecedented 12-18 months of non-traditional learning.
The Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program encourages learners to embrace their unique qualities and teaches them to respect differences in others. It teaches these concepts using a combination of discussion, journaling, and sharing, the topics explored include friendship, disability awareness, racism, bullying, and standing up for others. The expected outcome of the program is to create and cultivate a school community where students have a greater understanding of the importance of each of their peers, regardless of how different they are.
The teachers and principal at Scott Elementary School were so pleased with the program that they wanted to expand it. The principal applied for and was awarded a Naperville Education Foundation Annual Grant in the category of Diversity and Inclusion. As a result of this grant, all children in grades 3 through 5 will participate in the Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program during the 2021-22 academic year.
I share this information with you because obtaining a grant like the Naperville Education Foundation Annual Grant is not easy to do. Earning the grant is a strong indicator of the importance of including this type of social emotional learning material into the school curriculum. It also confirms that the lessons included in the Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program are truly beneficial to children when added into your school’s curriculum.
Let's schedule a time to chat about the challenges at your school related to bias among your students. During our call I will provide an overview of my program and how it will help promote an inclusive environment. I will also share funding options. To set up a time for a conversation, email me at service@staceymdesign.com, or click on my calendar link to set up a time for a conversation.
Stacey Montgomery
Creator, Why Is Different Awesome? Social Emotional Learning Program
@2021. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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During a webinar that I recently hosted called, “Strategies for Creating an Anti-Racist Environment in Your School,” I discussed how books and other resources used in schools often have racist content or a lack of diverse voices. The bias that exists in most school collections is not limited to race. There is also bias related to gender, sexual orientation, nationality, and family makeup.
When materials that teachers use to educate our children contain bias, our children will have a similarly biased, limited, and incomplete understanding of the communities in which they live. This will also be reflected in their views of the larger world outside of their immediate community.
I initially focused on the necessity of teachers, librarians, and curriculum committees to review books and eliminate those that contain bias. However, as I delved into this topic more, I realize that there are other strategies to effectively address the issue of bias in materials commonly found in school book collections.
School collections may include classics or older books that both teachers and children love. While these books contain valuable lessons, they also have troubling language.
During the Q&A part of the webinar, one teacher mentioned a fairytale that she reads to her first graders from a book called, The Seven-Year-Old Wonder Book, by Isabel Wyatt. The tale refers to a “black imp”- a negative creature. The teacher understood that far too often the term “black” is used to refer to bad, mean, sad, criminal, or otherwise negative characteristics. Finding “black imp” to be problematic, the teacher chose to replace the term black and use “naughty imp” or “mischievous imp.”
Replacing inaccurate or racially offensive language as well as explaining why language is inappropriate can provide teachable moments. This teaching method can also provide opportunities to initiate dialog about race, gender, and other types of bias.
Another teacher who attended the webinar mentioned that she plans to incorporate the book, Johnny Tremain, by Esther Hoskins Forbes when she teaches the American Revolution to her 8th graders. She found that a few references to black slaves were ill-written. Her approach is to give the students some context and explain why that way of referencing black slaves is not appropriate and why.
By showing students examples of biased language, teachers can help them develop their critical thinking skills so that they can identify bias in books on their own. They can then use these skills to look for other forms of bias beyond language, including in the plot, in the relationships between characters, and other components of the story. These are skills that students will use throughout their life whether they are reading for a course or for pleasure.
This can also be a cost-effective way of addressing the issue of school book collections that contain racist or other biased books. Instead of replacing the books, they can be repurposed as tools to promote a more inclusive mindset within the school.
A few years ago, third grade students at High Tech Elementary North County in San Marcos, California reviewed their book collection as part of the school’s social justice project. The students had to answer the question: How diverse is our classroom library? They reviewed all the books, graphed their findings and concluded that there was not enough diversity in their library.
I thought this was an amazing idea that more schools should execute. Teachers can begin by giving the class a project to review all the books in their classroom or perhaps a section of books in the Library Media Center. Multiple classrooms in the same grade level can participate and compare notes on overlapping titles or split the LMC so that each class reviews a section of books.
This project can incorporate several skills such as reading, critical thinking, writing, and math. As students read the books, they will practice their reading and comprehension skills. They will use their critical thinking skills to identify bias in the books. This project can incorporate writing lessons if the students write a summary of their findings, as well as letters to the school curriculum committee, a letter to the director of the LMC (or staff member in charge of purchasing books), and any applicable school administrators. Students may also choose to write a letter to the publisher of the book to address their concerns about the content that they discovered.
The teacher can incorporate math into the project by instructing students to use the data that they assemble to create a chart of their findings. This chart can include the percentage of books with no bias, books with racial bias, books with gender bias, etc, compared to all of the books that they reviewed.
In a different example, a middle school class in Arlington, Virginia did a review of sports related books in its library to see which groups are under-represented. Their project included researching and grading the books based on whether they refuted or reinforced stereotypes. At the end of the project they discussed their findings.
For these methods to work, teachers must be willing to read books ahead of time and with a more critical eye. School leaders might consider creating a list of problematic books and offer best practices to addressing biased or racist language. One way to do this is to perform a school leader review of the book collection at the school.
Assemble a team of school leaders who can review all the books in the school library, in classrooms, and the adopted course materials in the school curriculum. Let the team know that the goal is to identify all books that include bias and decide the next steps to take with each title. The team can choose to remove the materials and replace them with books that are free of bias. They can also create a strategy to utilize those books to teach students about social justice.
A great tool to use to set the criteria for which books contain bias can be found on the Social Justice Books website. This guide offers extensive information on what to look for including illustrations, the overall storyline, relationships between people, and much more.
For more resources, join my Facebook group, My Super Powers! Community.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
@2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
Kids want to have friends. Whether they are girls or boys, they want to have a best friend or a group of besties. They want to have a person that they regularly hang out with. In fact, not only do they want to have friends, but the need for friendship is biologically wired into humans and many other species.
A bestie plays a special part in a child’s life. It is about belonging. Most kids do not care if they do something special and planned, or if they do nothing at all. A bestie is the first person your child calls when they have something to celebrate. It is also the first person your child reaches out to when they are having a hard time.
No matter what age you are, a friend, especially a best friend, has your back. In return, you have theirs. The most critical thing about friendship is that it’s a two-way street. You are there for each other, you support each other, and you celebrate each other.
But what happens when your child has a “friend” who is not a source of comfort, but a source of pain? The friend is not constant, but sometimes-y. What if the friend is not a friend at all, but a frenemy?
A frenemy is a person who acts friendly to you but who does not have your best interests at heart. They feel a sense of rivalry or jealousy. Frenemies often talk about friends behind their backs, spread lies and rumors, or share things that a friend has told them in confidence. They belittle or shame the “friend” in an obvious or subtle way or offer backhanded compliments. Sometimes a frenemy will maneuver to remove a friend from a mutual clique, to make them feel excluded, or they will control who the friend can hang out with.
It is sometimes challenging for kids to understand what true friendship is. Particularly when kids are shy, socially awkward, or new to the community, they often end up attaching themselves to kids who are mean to them or who take advantage of them. This is not friendship, but kids do not necessarily understand what is happening. They know that the friendship does not feel right, but some children who have only known people who love and care for them do not know how to handle someone who treats them poorly.
Start off by helping your child understand what it means to be a friend. You can reference other friendships that your child has had, or relationships with their family members as examples. Talk openly about how a true friend respects other people and is kind to them. A real friend likes the other person and wants them to do well and be happy. True friends are equals and are there to help each other. They keep the other person’s information private and do not gossip. A true friend never tries to bully their friend into doing something that they do not want to.
It is helpful to talk to your child about navigating groups of friends. True friends can be friends with many other people. Sometimes groups of friends will overlap and sometimes they will not, and that is ok. They might have friends from a sport, from school, or from your neighborhood. Being part of multiple circles of friends does not take away from a friendship between two kids.
If you have discovered that your child has a frenemy, you can teach them important life skills that will help them navigate this relationship and situations that arise in the future.
Teach your child to be assertive
Throughout their lives, children will face unpleasant people who seek to manipulate or bully them. Teaching children to stand up to a frenemy and not accept unkind behavior will serve your child well. It is not necessary for your child to meet meanness with meanness. It can be hard to understand the difference between acting assertive versus aggressive. To help you child learn the difference, try role playing, and show your child how they can tell someone to stop doing a hurtful behavior in a calm and controlled way.
Help Your Child Understand if the Friendship is Salvageable
My son had a lot of experiences with frenemies throughout middle school and high school. These so-called friends would reach out to him, include them in their group, and then turn on him. They talked about him behind his back and teased him. When my son finally confronted them about their behavior, they apologized. Isaiah accepted the apology as sincere. Soon after, they repeated the same mean behavior.
This is an excellent opportunity to talk to your child about whether an apology is sincere, and that sometimes actions speak louder than words. Encourage your child to talk about the problem with their friend, and to give the friend the opportunity to behave like a true friend. However, if the friend continues their mean behavior, it is time to cut off contact.
Teach Your Child it is Ok to Walk Away
Sometimes the best option is to simply cut off contact with the frenemy. Your child can simply walk away, stop responding to texts, decline invitations to hang out, and unfollow the frenemy on social media. Unfortunately, some frenemy situations occur in groups of mutual friends, which can make it difficult to cut off contact without losing the other friends. Depending on the behavior of the mutual friends, your child could be put in the situation in which they need to emotionally distance themself from the frenemy or find a different group of friends.
If your child will not cut off the friend, you may have to step in. If the other child’s parent notices that your child has stepped away and questions you about it, be honest, but gentle. Also remember that a mean girl or mean boy’s frenemy behavior may mimic the behavior of a parent.
Having a diverse, varied group of friends from different areas of life makes life interesting and more fun. Encourage your child to invite other friends over or get involved in new activities so that they can meet new friends. People enjoy spending time with people who make them feel good about themselves, so when your child has different groups of friends, they will naturally gravitate to the ones they are happiest around.
For more resources, join my Facebook group, My Super Powers! Community.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
@2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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As July turns into August, parents and school aged children start the rituals of preparing to go back to school. There are trips to Target and Walmart to purchase items from the school supply list. There are phone calls to friends to see who is in your class, and bus schedules to review. While some of those things will still happen this year, many of these routines will change or not occur at all.
When schools closed in March, many people believed that it would be for a few weeks. But now, months later, some school districts are still working on finalizing their plans for the fall, while others have recently issued options for families and new rules, leaving parents, teachers, administrators, and students with concerns about what really to expect from the 2020-21 academic year.
Each school district has their own plan for how to bring students back to school while maintaining social distance. Whether your child is going back full-time, part-time, or fully online, it is unlikely that their school day will be the way it was before COVID-19.
Distance learning may be part of your child’s academic instruction. Last Spring, many schools were lenient with grades and participation because the school year was winding down and the need to offer e-learning was sudden and new. However, students cannot have a full semester of busy-work. It is detrimental to the student’s development and future academic success because each school year builds upon what was learned the prior year.
Many of the biggest changes to the school day are of the social variety. Lunch, recess, and physical education are usually an opportunity for children to be active and social with their friends. However, these activities also present the biggest risks for sharing germs. Without this time together, children can feel isolated, sad, and have pent-up energy with no way to let it out. In fact, many children have had little if any time with their friends since March.
Many children are concerned about their own health and do not want to get COVID-19. They may have heard adults talking, overheard the nightly news, or read information online about the virus without really understanding all the facts. They may be concerned about getting sick or family or friends getting sick. Walking into school and seeing safety precautions like masks, desks pushed apart, and directional signs in the hallway could be alarming.
It is important for parents to watch for signs of stress. Out of character behavior like crying, anger, sadness, tiredness, sleeping all the time, wetting the bed, poor performance in school, and a lack of interest in activities they normally enjoy are all indicators that your child is struggling with something. Here are some things that you can do proactively to help your student transition to the changes they will experience.
Depending on your child’s personality, some may be overwhelmed with worries about what the upcoming semester will look like, or if school will close again without warning. When you teach your child to look for new, creative ideas and positive outcomes out of a potentially bad situation, you are giving them a valuable life skill that they can use again and again. The ability to pivot and adapt will help them succeed throughout their lives.
For more resources, join my Facebook group, My Super Powers! Community.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
@2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
Journaling can be priceless and timeless, but not every child likes to write. Matter of fact, many kids find it intimidating and difficult. But there are lots of benefits for kids who venture into journal writing. The most important thing is that your child sees the whole experience as a fun activity and not as a homework assignment, punishment or chore.
A major benefit of journal writing is the development of strong written communication skills. It’s a stepping stone for future success, especially during middle school and high school. Through writing, kids are encouraged to explore the corners of their minds. They may even discover a hidden talent such as writing poetry or short stories. Children have such imaginative minds which can be used to write about interesting topics and insightful “stuff” from their daily lives. Journal writing also gives them a sense of freedom as they write about anything that’s on their minds.
Writing is also known to improve reading skills, grammar, and spelling. With regular practice, they’ll learn how to better compose and construct sentences, paragraphs, and compositions. And what could that mean? For starters, improved grades in school!
For kids who are journaling for the first time or who may be a bit intimidated by a blank journal, a journal with prompts such as What’s Your Super Power? or What Makes You So Awesome? may be the way to go. For a child who is already hooked on journaling or creative-writing, I recommend a blank journal.
Even the seasoned or enthusiastic writer may from time to time get stumped about what to write. To help, offer your child suggestions about what to write. Click here for a list of 24 journaling prompts for the month of July.
By offering these simple, helpful and encouraging suggestions, you’ll see your child’s writing blossom. Further, by helping your child understand that journaling is a creativity-freeing activity where they can openly record their thoughts and emotions on paper, these experiences will continue to bring many benefits and rewards as they enter adulthood.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
@2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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As parents, we teach our kids not to brag. Being boastful is viewed as a negative quality. I agree. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly letting us know their achievements and how amazing they are? I also agree that it is annoying to be around someone who must always “one-up” everyone else by letting everyone know that they are “better than” everyone else. Trust me, I agree that being a braggart is distasteful. We teach our children that being humble is a positive quality, to not be “that person” who is always bragging.
To avoid raising braggerts, we teach our kids the value of humility, and the value of modesty. However, we may be inadvertently teaching our kids to refrain from owning their amazing gifts and sharing them with others. We may be subtly teaching them that displaying confidence is distasteful and rude. Now, I am not suggesting that we encourage our kids to be boastful. But I do believe that we should encourage our kids to talk confidently about their abilities and experiences in appropriate situations and in a manner that is not boastful. Being boastful and being confident are not the same.
Braggarts like to tell others about their gifts, their abilities, and their accomplishments. It is important to braggarts that others know how amazing they are. They get pleasure out of it. In addition to constantly shining a bright light on their own skills and accomplishments, braggarts often belittle others in an effort to make themselves look and feel better. They fear looking bad and rarely admit when they are wrong.
While those who brag may appear to be confident, the constant need to tell other people their tales of how amazing they are is often a signal that the person is not confident but insecure.
Confident people let others know what they know only when it is necessary or appropriate. At other times they are generally comfortable and secure with sharing the information only with those close to them or keeping it to themselves. When they do share, they do so with confidence without belittling others. They are also comfortable with letting others shine. They do not need the glory, nor do they need the validation from others. While confident people are comfortable to share their wisdom when appropriate, they are also not afraid to ask for help when they do not have the needed the skill or experience.
It is important that we teach our children to be comfortable talking about their gifts, abilities, accomplishments, and interests. Discussing these things is important so that they do not miss opportunities for personal growth, connecting with others, academic achievement, community involvement, and serving others.
Here are 4 areas in which confidently talking about themselves will benefit your child and others.
To help your child feel comfortable with talking about themselves and their abilities, balance the admonitions against being boastful with encouragement to share with quiet confidence at appropriate moments. In doing so not only will they feel empowered, they will also find opportunities to use their abilities in fun, satisfying, and serving ways.
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Check out my guided journal, What Makes You Believe In Yourself? for additional help with confidence-building.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
@2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
Over the last few months, the dialog about race has reached a fever pitch. If social media is a measure, if traditional media is a measure, and if civil unrest is a measure, race is on everyone’s mind. Despite the constant chatter about race from the dinner table to the highest level of government, race remains a particularly uncomfortable topic to discuss, especially between white people and African Americans. It is a highly emotional topic, and some choose to make it a highly political topic. To escape facing discomfort, many want to solve the race issue and make it a nonissue. One strategy is to declare, “I do not see color.”
Dr. Philip Mazzocco, an associate professor of psychology at The Ohio State University at Mansfield, refers to this type of racial colorblindness as “visionary.” The reasoning goes, if one takes color out of the equation, then there cannot and will not be racism. Furthermore, if our children are taught not to see color, racism will disappear. No, that is not the way it works. This is oversimplifying the problem of racism and racial intolerance in this country. Ignoring or overlooking racial differences does not promote racial harmony.
The Problem with Teaching Children to be Racially Color Blind
What are you really saying when you teach your child to be color blind, and what is your child hearing? When you tell your child to ignore race, you are telling them to ignore a reality. This world is made up of people who have a wide range of skin tones. It’s pretty obvious. It is well-established that kids not only see racial differences at a very early age, within the first few years of their lives they also display racial biases based on observed community norms.
Racism does not exist because people notice race. It exists because people choose to treat others differently, poorly because of race. It exists because people place different values on entire groups of people based of the color of their skin. That is the problem. That is why racism exists.
Not only does racial colorblindness not reflect reality, it is damaging and disrespectful to the experience of African Americans. Failing to acknowledge color and teaching children to not see color discourages conversation about race. It rejects the cultural heritage of African Americans. It ignores the current experience of African Americans. It relegates this country’s history of racial intolerance to a footnote. Ultimately, it teaches your children to accept the things as they are instead of being an advocate for change.
Instead of relegating race to “a taboo topic that polite people cannot openly discuss” as clinical psychologist Dr. Monnica T. Williams describes racial colorblindness, the more effective strategy is to have open conversations about the topic that are historically accurate and factually based. In one of my guided journals I teach children to notice, think about, and celebrate differences between the people in their life. This can be done at any age, even through adulthood. Conversations like this between adults can accomplish much more than passive aggressive social media arguments and politicized posts.
The issue of race is not a simple issue. It is a highly complex issue with deep historical roots and a stronghold on our institutions. Declaring racial colorblindness and teaching children to be color blind is not an answer. The answer is to value and respect racial differences and to seek strategies that will help our children to be anti-racists. The first step is to encourage open conversations between African Americans, white people, and other races that help to understand each other and start to end the taboo of talking about race in an open and honest way.
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For more resources about teaching kids to be anti-racists, visit my group on Facebook, My Super Powers Community.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
My reaction to the continued acts of racial violence in this country, to the nonstop acts of racism that do not get the attention of the media, to the peaceful protests, and to the violence and looting has been a combination of anger, frustration, great sadness, and fear. I just want it to all stop.
I know that the protests will become less frequent. I know that the rioting and looting have largely stopped. I know that the stores will take down the boards and reopen. I know that the media will soon turn its attention to the next big story. I also know that the racist acts whether or not they are recorded, whether or not they result in death, whether or not they are deemed newsworthy will continue.
We as parents are in a unique position to make things different. Babies are not born racists. What we do as parents will have an impact on our children’s actions and attitudes about race from the time they are young through adulthood. It’s never too early to teach our kids about race. Our kids are forming opinions and preferences about race soon after birth. According to healthychildren.org, as early as 6 months, “a baby's brain can notice race-based differences.” If your goal is for your child to have a healthy, informed view of race and to be actively anti-racist, there are steps you can take now.
I can't stress enough the importance of having an ongoing dialog with your children about race. As your children get older, they will continue to hear perspectives on race from the media, friends, school, books, etc. It is important for you to know what they are thinking, to learn from them, and to challenge them.
For more resources, join my Facebook group, My Super Powers! Community.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
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As the school year is winding down and lockdowns are coming to an end, our thoughts are turning toward summer break. For many families, this year will be different from previous summers and will be different from what was planned. Many camps and other summer programs for kids have been cancelled or will be virtual. Big family vacations have been postponed. We are unsure about when amusement parks, pools, and other summer destinations will be open and what restrictions will be in place.
While the impact of the coronavirus on our summer is certainly frustrating, we can still have an amazing summer. Your kids can have an amazing summer. Now is the time to plan and think of ways to rock your summer even if your original plans are not possible. Get your kids involved. Explain the limitations and ask them to help plans activities that are possible and safe. This will help them feel more in control and more confident about what the summer holds.
My guided journal, How’s Your Summer Gonna Rock?, can help your kids think about the summer and set realistic goals. It also has a space for your child to look back on the school year that is winding down and reflect on what they will miss most about school and what they will miss least. This section may be particularly helpful for your child as they wind down a most usual school year. Here they can reflect on distance learning as well as the months prior to distance learning.
Throughout the summer your child can document different adventures. Adventures can be any activity such as swimming, road trip, amusement park, pool, hanging with friends, or reading.
Of course, not every moment of the summer will be amazing. Kids will experience moments of sadness, anger, and frustration. Journaling may help your child work through those big emotions as it gives them an opportunity to be alone with their thoughts and feelings and reflect. Remember, How’s Your Summer Gonna Rock? is a journal. It is designed to give your child a space to document their summer experiences—good and not so good.
]]>Distance learning has caused many of us to appreciate teachers even more than we did before. Teaching is difficult. It takes courage. It takes dedication. Because we are now in the midst of distance learning, teachers miss their students, and students miss their teachers. Seeing them from a computer screen is not the same as seeing them in the classroom.
Would you like to give your child’s teacher a surprise during the next Zoom? Click on this link to download a Super Teacher Appreciation Note that your child can fill-in and color. During the next Zoom, your child can show it to their teacher.
With everything that is going on in the world right now, I almost forgot about an important business milestone. April 24th is the third anniversary, or bookaversary, of the release of my first guided journal, What’s Your Super Power? The past three years have gone by quickly, and at the same time it seems like forever ago that I started talking about writing What’s Your Super Power? as a way to help kids become more confident.
Since releasing What’s Your Super Power?, I have released 5 additional guided journals as part of what I now call the My Super Powers! series. I also developed a social emotional learning program for elementary schools based on the guided journals. This curriculum teaches children the principles of confidence, compassion, gratitude, and service.
Over the past three years the question asked of me most often is, “how did you come up with the idea?”
The seeds of what is now a social emotional learning program were planted over 2 decades ago when one fall day I was out searching for the perfect Christmas card. After going to many stores, big and small, on the south side and the north side of Chicago, I was unable to find the card that not only reflected the color of my skin, but that also reflected my personality. Ultimately, I decided to illustrate my own Christmas card, and from there I started a stationery and gift business featuring illustrations of kids with a variety of skin tones, hair colors, and hair styles, who were engaged in a range of activities.
It was not until years later that I was able to articulate why it had been so important to me that I find the right Christmas card. Had I found that card in Marshall Fields, Barnes and Noble, or in any of the mom and pop shops I visited, I would have felt special and included—empowered.
After I got married and had a son, I continued to run my design business as a side gig. My son was bullied from upper elementary to the last day of high school. Sadly, more often than not the teachers and staff put the onus on him to take action to “fit in” and prevent the bullying instead of recognizing, acknowledging, or addressing the systemic problem that allowed non-violent bullying behavior to be tolerated.
Fast forward to about 6 or 7 years ago. As part of my line of gifts, I created a “Girl Power!” hard cover, blank journal. It featured a girl superhero along with several empowering words such as confident, brave, honest, and strong. The journal was a hit. I designed a similar journal featuring a boy superhero. Parent after parent shared with me how much their son or daughter lacked confidence or was bullied. Some parents also mentioned that while they felt that their child needed the message on the cover and they believed, like I do, in the therapeutic power of journaling, a blank journal would be intimidating to their child.
In early 2017, I had one of those seemingly scripted moments like you might see in a movie, when one morning I sat straight up in my bed because I came up with a solution. The solution was to create a guided journal that featured superhero imagery and prompts designed to help kids pinpoint what makes them special- their super powers!
My mission- 20 years ago and today- remains the same: to empower kids. What’s Your Super Power?, my other 5 guided journals, and my social emotional learning program are all designed to help kids believe in themselves and respect differences.
I believe that when children understand that they are unique, special people and tap into their greatness, a world of possibilities opens up to them. They perform better in the classroom, feel more at ease in social situations, and are empowered to pursue their dreams. They are full of gratitude, are compassionate, and have serving hearts. I believe that children who understand their greatness are more confident children and blossom into confident adults.
I am filled with gratitude for my family, my friends, my customers, my collaborators, and all my supporters who helped me tremendously to get from the idea for What’s Your Super Power? to the point where elementary schools are using my books and implementing my program. Thank you for believing in this mission and for believing in me.
I invite you to celebrate with me by posting pictures of your child holding one of the guided journals, a hardcover journal, a spiral, a mug, or the Gratitude Challenge. Post your pictures on Facebook or Instagram along with #CELEBRATEYOURSUPERPOWER. For each picture posted you will have a chance to win your choice of any 3 of the guided journals for yourself and any 3 for a friend. Pictures must be posted by April 30, 2020. The winner will be announced in a FB live on my page, on Friday, May 1, 2020.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
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Being under lockdown means that there are some things that kids cannot do such as go to their school buildings, go to the playground, or physically hang out with their friends. They still can, however, do acts of kindness. Every day the media reports kind acts of adults and children such as making and donating masks, writing cards to the elderly, participating in birthday parades, and performing porch concerts. There are small acts of kindness that kids can perform at home that will make a big impact.
Here is a list of 16 acts of kindness that kids ages 7 and up can do at home while complying with the physical distancing and lockdown requirements. Your child will have fun figuring out which activities to do! For younger kids, some of the activities will require parental assistance or supervision.
What ideas do you have? What acts of kindness have you witnessed in your household?
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
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]]>Showing gratitude can have an immediate impact on others. Think about how you feel when someone takes the time to compose a handwritten note expressing how much they appreciate something that you did. It means a lot.
The concept of being grateful goes beyond how we impact others or how other people impact us. It informs our attitude on many things. It causes us to appreciate our experiences such as traveling, spending time with family, or celebrating a friend’s birthday. It causes us to smile and feel good about the little things in life such as the solitude of an early morning walk, the taste of an ice cream cone, or the warmth of a pet curled up beside you. When we are full of gratitude, we do not take these things for granted.
But an oft overlooked aspect of gratitude is that it has a profound impact on how we view ourselves. Having a grateful heart causes us to appreciate our qualities, attributes, and abilities—the things that I like to call our “super powers.” We feel empowered and confident.
To support your efforts to teach your children the concept of gratitude, I created a “challenge.” It is a 7-Day Gratitude Challenge for kids ages 7-12-ish. It helps kids become more mindful of the people, places, things, and experiences that have a positive impact on them. During the course of the challenge your child will also be encouraged to think about themselves and gain a greater appreciation for the gifts that they have to offer. While your child can complete most activities alone, they are fun for the entire family. Plus, the activities are sure to spur insightful conversations with your child.
The materials are only $5.00 and are immediately downloadable.
Stacey Montgomery, Founder
Stacey M Design and Stacey Montgomery Publishing
©2020. Stacey Montgomery. All rights reserved.
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